Relaxation is not random.
(For a quick practice, you can skip to the bottom).
When someone says “relax,” how do you feel?
It depends on tone and context, of course. I know for me, if they are saying it out of irritation or anger, I feel irritated and angry right back.
But, what if it’s in the context of say, a yoga class? If someone says “and now, relax,” it can feel easier said than done. In fact, it can feel arresting, because we may not know how (which is likely the reason we chose to take class in the first place).
Our path to relaxation is a very individual one. While others can suggest certain tools or guide you in certain methods, you are the agent of your own relaxation.
What do I mean by that?
For me, Yin yoga is a tool that has been transformative, and one that I talk about frequently. It is rooted in stillness, and rooted in your choice - in terms of how far you may want to go in a stretch, and in noticing how you feel/what you need in a particular moment.
That noticing is the key - if you’re feeling hyper-stressed or exhausted right now, maybe an hour-long meditation is not the thing. On the flip side, if you feel like you need to extract yourself from your surroundings for a while, maybe an hour-long class of some sort IS the thing you need.
Asking yourself what you need is a way to begin to enter into relaxation and ease (and, this is not only for before bed. Finding a space for ease is good for any time of day).
Take a moment, right now, to pause and just ask yourself - what do I need?
The more you ask yourself that question, the more you will ask yourself that question. :) It will begin to shape not only how you respond in situations, but the choices you make in how you are caring for yourself.
Being still can mean being still for only a moment. And, that can be enough.
Quick takeaway: pause, and ask yourself what you need. Maybe set an alarm on your phone to do it again.
Quick practice (if you decide that what you need is calm):
